Loving two people at the same time

Loving two people at the same time

Every now and then people asking me for an explanation for the phenomenon of loving two people at the same time. Certainly, You may become confused when you find yourself having feelings for two different people at the same time.

You might be thinking that you really love two people in the same time but as soon as you know the below facts the picture is going to become clearer.

Why isn’t one person enough?

If you fell for someone as result of love addiction (falling in love with someone because you are addicted to love itself and not because you love the person himself/herself) then most probably this person won’t be a perfect match for the criteria you were looking for.

Under the effect of love addiction we tend to forget about some of the important criteria we are looking for as if we are blind and the result is finding ourselves with someone we don't truly love.

Everything could go well if we didn’t meet someone else who matched our subconscious criteria but if this happened then most likely we are going to fall for him too thinking that we love two people at the same time.

Love addiction can make you blind for a while in such a way that it results in making you fall in love with someone who barley matches the criteria you are looking for.

Love addiction is not the only thing that can make someone fall in love with two people because if it happened that two people matched your criteria you may become interested in both of them.

As long as those people are new people you just met it’s not odd to become attracted to both of them but as you get to know them well you will find that one of them is a better match for you.

If you knew both for a long time and you still had feelings for both of them then you should ask yourself one question, which one do I really love? Because in such a case you may be fooling yourself into thinking that you love them both while the truth is that you love one of them and you are just addicted to the other.

Why do we fall in love

You might be wondering what is that subconscious criteria i am talking about? As a result of our past experiences we all formed an unconscious list of items that must be present in someone in order for us to fall in love with him. This is called the unconscious love list.

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My definition of love

Love is a funny thing.
You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only
in movies.

You expect her to
always say the right thing, and
always know exactly how you feel,
or exactly how to react to it.
You expect her to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you
when you run away.

You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up to all your plans. But that’s the thing.

Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have
a certain beginning and it
certainly has no end, or a visible
finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so
incredibly messy. People around
you can’t comprehend why you do
the things you do, or why you
fight so hard for something that
seems to cause you so much pain.

Because simply, they can’t see.
They can’t see the invisible ring
of insanity that surrounds you
when you’re in love. It’s
inconvenient and painful and
devastating at times, but we can’t
live without it.

What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it.
How it isn’t worth it until we are
complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn’t her calming you
down when you yell. It’s her
yelling, just as loud, just as
hard, right back at you, right in
your face to wake you up and to
keep you grounded.

It isn’t her or him bringing you roses
everyday or cute things that make
your relationship appear more
presentable. It’s right after a long
fight, that drains the life and
bones right out of both of you, and
yet her or him showing up at your door the next morning anyway.

It’s not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your
hair and telling you everything is
going to be okay. It’s her
standing there, admitting she’s
just as scared as you are.

You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved.
You’ve unknowingly put your life,
your heart into the palm of
another’s hands and saying,
here. Do what you will. Mash it
into a million pieces, mash it into meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you in the first place. Just as long as you
have it.

It makes reality invisible and it
erases all the lines that we
shouldn’t cross. Because love
isn’t about fencing ourselves in;
feeling safe, feeling sure about
the future.

It’s about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway.

Because all the fighting and all
the tears and all the uncertainty
is worth it. And it’s a hell of a
lot better, than being 100% happy
without someone to show us that
there is a world of a difference
between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole

Trying.....

Serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
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Simply by Cris™ © 2011-2012